Merry Covidmas!

 

It has been a while...

And this year is special! A covid year where i‘m under SELF-quarantine in a tiny apartment at the heart of the city. 

Hey, i‘m still alive and standing! Tomorrow will be better ahead, if i wish so,

境由心生。。。Well, life moves on... 

Agape...

I'm in love with an angel...???

The road ahead...

if the road is straight

if the scene along is beautiful

the road ahead is fearless

.

Yet not all roads are straight

not all scenes are beautiful

the road ahead is still hopeful

.

With hope the road ahead is as beautiful...

Above the cloud...

Went to see the cloud, above actually.

No fairies found but fond memories.

I sworn not to do it again up there, but changed my mind when i'm down.

I guess a bit of physical torture is good for health.

Self...

photo courtesy of A.pow

A friend told me yesterday,


"You are confident about your capability, but not yourself,"
"Do u know who u really are?"


A good question and a tough one too.

Beacon of hopes...

The 2 bukits had made us proud, signaling the beacon of hopes...

A place called home...

di mana,
terikan matahari menyemai,

bayu timur laut menyuburi,
rintisan monsun menuai,

di sini,
tanah tumpahnya darahku...

.

This is a beatiful country with beatiful people.

.

Just as the diverse flora & fauna, its the pluralism of culture & people that makes this place beautiful.

.

I'm born, bred and going to die here.

Hence, for selfish reason, i want to see the beauty of this land blossoms.

.

Yes, there are people who might not reliased this and many are fooled to propagate on communal divergences. But we all could make a difference...

.

I hope we could bring our hands together to plough on this land and make it a place called HOME.

Naung

Went for a hike at Gunung Nuang, first time even stepped foot in Ulu Langat.

Nice serene rural setting with clear water streams run by.

Amples of waterfalls, camp sites & picnic areas.

.

We didnt make it to the top and I was limping out in pain, yet the hike was great.

.

I realised there's much to explore in our own home ground and i've done so little.

Is time to check out the hidden treasures of our land before my knee gelatin's running out!

Master...

Midmost Point @ K1888

At the fringe of TTDI, amidst the simple woodshed of Kampung Sungai Penchala, lives a master sculptor. An artist originated from Java, travelled and lived abroad most of his life. Whom's works are being collected all over the world, including Rockefella Centre.

Is an honour for me to meet Pak Ahmad, a kind humble old man. When we first met, we all eagered to find out the meaning/concept behind the sculpture he's working on, hoping for some deep, semiotical, metaphysical, cosmo related sort of explainations. And he smiled and said,

"...Form... kalau mata pandang, hati senang, itulah..."

Just that, no complicated jargons or cliches.

Simple yet profound.

Water...

I growed up in a small town framed by a river and endless beach shores.

I used to go to the beach by day and the river by night.

*

To listen...

To enjoy the tender caressing breeze...

*

Everytime i go back to my home town,

i'll sneak out to catch a breath by the sea or the river

*

To clear the mind...

To sooth the soul...

*

Is the only place that i can let the worldly muddled thoughts behind,

and enjoy being myself.

A friend told me lately, i belong to the "water" class.

and its BIG WATER, based on my birth date, explained thru the school of "Five Elements"

*

That tells why i enjoy the company of water body and it some how resonates with my inner vibe.

Just that, in my context, water doesn't mean "money"...

LOSER

Ushering to thirties was the crossing road of my life.
For once i felt lost, detached from the rest of the world.
I shunned away from family and friends,
shouldering depression alone and eventually had a breakdown.

It took years before i stood my foot on the ground again.

For better or worst, I'm never the same person i used to be.

I acknowledge that the journey has taught me the wrongs that i've done,

the question is if i've learned.

Lately, i went thru the blog entries i had 4 or 5 years ago.

I realised there are remnants of the past which i have yet to dealt with.

I'm basically remain standing on the same ground since the day i crushed.

Yeah, on the bright side, i'm standing.

5 years had passed and i only managed to stand up.

I guess its time that i done with sulking, enough of retrospecting.
I ought to take heed from what i've learned and move on.

I should be running...

5 years down the road, if i'm still whining about my past and present,
then i'm a fucking LOSER!!

Orion...

*

如果你问我为何漫漫五年了，

怎么没变，

我想是因为我依然傻傻的在看星。。。哈哈

*

if you u ask me, what happened in these years?

I guess i was or am still foolishly gazing the stars...haha

变态佬

五年可以讲是一段很长的日子。
以下这一段是我当时的 blog...
很多人，在五年内可能发佐达，可能结佐婚，生埋仔，
而我，好似一点都没变到，niama!


变态佬在世俗人眼中，

一个年上三十， 单身， 经常独自一个人坐在餐厅吃饭的，
一个年上三十， 单身， 经常独自一个人在霸市推 trolley的,
一个年上三十， 单身， 经常独自一个人呆在 cafe 饮咖啡， 抽烟的，
一个年上三十， 单身， 经常独自一个人背包旅行的，
一个年上三十， 单身， 又一个人住的，无疑是一个变态佬。

如果要我听你推销 MML or Insurance...

如果要我听你夸大显耀你挣钱的本事...

如果要我听你奚落，bitch about 你身旁的每一个...

如果要我听你显耀你行街， shopping 及扮靓的心得...

如果要我听你畅谈你参加‘赶尸队’的异国风情...我情愿变态！

在西方国家， 这是个人的选择，自由的尊重。

当然，我的态佬是我没有选择...

Awesome...

Walking thru this newly completed masterpiece yesterday and i felt lost.
What have i been doing all this while?
I should be inspired, but ...
Maybe is time to re-evaluate NOW and TOMORROW...

Torture

I sent myself to torture chamber today, walked out with a pair of bloody red eyes!!

I ordered some daily contact lens lately and got a called to collect it today.

Not that i'm vain, just that i've never tried contact lens in my life, so thought of giving it a shoot.

Having born a cina, genetically endowed with a pair of "sepet" eyes never bother me till just now. I spent close to half an hour trying to attach the tiny jelly to my eyeball. Apparently, the eyes too small and the plastic bowl seems too big.

The optician was all out to give directions and end up trying herself to poke, yet failed. And my eyes was peach red. So she called for help and her comments to her colleague was," eye too small la". Niama!

So a guy came, with 3 hands, which equal to 15 fingers to be exact, all stretching over my sepet eye, striving to squeeze....yeah, finally managed, but i was left tearing!!

Then the next session was to take it out. I felt like my eyeball was pinched out! What a torture!

Hmmm...now i'm left with 30 pairs of daily "torture", wondering when i felt like crying again!!

錯過...

年少时蛮喜欢写，翻开铺满尘埃的日记，唯有感叹没一直写下去。。。

錯過。。。

不經意的揮手﹐竟揮去了該傾訴心曲的時日。

每個人都並不立意要錯過﹐但在考試的蠶絲輕吐﹐

每個人都把自己埋在書堆的繭裡﹐又在每個淡淡的天﹐淡淡的錯過了。

問。。。

藍色十月是灰色的憂鬱。寧願擁有懮愁的美麗﹐

也不願有美麗的懮愁。

別於今朝﹐會否相逢﹐會否曾經相識﹖

還是人何處也﹐桃花依舊﹖成長於懮傷﹐成熟於滄桑﹐成長為何物﹖

離。。。

用懮愁和不捨築成的竿﹐去釣一江水的離。

再把釣起的離﹐譜成十月的情﹐畢業的緒。

該怎把心中的藍﹐揮灑於穹天的灰﹐於是唯有拾前記憶的落葉﹐鋪在日後的路上﹐

希望能常聽到﹐步踏落葉時所發出的嘆息﹗

As the sun rises...

Woke up super early this morning, earliest of the year, to catch the sunrise @ tabur.

The sunrise wasn't magnificent, the hill was crowded, however its still fun.

Actually, i do enjoy early morning when the sun breaks thru the horizon. Misty, foggy and the smell is refreshing with the birds chirping at the back ground. Sitting down quietly, mesmerising oneself with the fresh scent, waiting for the twilight to emerge...it is form of meditation, to calm the restless soul.

Just that i'm too lazy to hurl my butt out of the bed. Have got to do it a couple of times a year!

无奈

十多年前，抱吉他的日子时，写下了这首歌。。。

一个梦的开始，是另个梦的结束
无奈与伤痛，总在交替时
也许
这就是生活

有人说
我不再属于织的年华
我对我自己说
让我梦这一生

让我梦一生，梦一世
梦到世界的尽头
我相信总有一梦
是属于我和你

没想到活了大半生，吉他已风尘了，这首歌依然是我的心声！

Moon

All my life, i see a beautiful moon. Glowing and smiling at me.
At times i see the silhouette of a beautiful girl embraced the sphere, i assume its "Chang Er".

Today i snapped the moon with a zoom len and i realised the moon is not as pretty as i always thought.

The imagination was lost as one sees it CLEAR.

I wonder its good to see the world so clear now.

Life is...

As the river flows...
When the ray pierces...

While the breeze caressing thru...

Is there a reason to mourn?